Существует ли MySQL, эквивалентный из preg_replace PHP?

I've found a solution. It's not ideal, but I'll put it in here in case a pure SQL solution never surfaces. I can leave the url field in MySQL equal to "/articles/%/page/%" and add another field called variables that stores a list of variable names to be used. That way I can use my original query, then replace the "%" characters in the return value with "{{variable}}" in PHP with sprintf after I've retrieved the data.

Still, I'd like to see this solved in SQL if possible, since I think the concept is valuable.